Talking about your Feelings

Why do men typically find it so difficult to talk about their feelings?

There are many reasons why men find it so hard to talk about their feelings, but a few of the key reasons why many men struggle is down to social conditioning, personal experiences, and biology.

Social Conditioning & Gender Norms

From a young age, many boys are taught (directly or indirectly) that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. Phrases like "man up" and being told that "boys don't cry" send the message that emotions should be suppressed rather than expressed. As a result, many men grew up believing that talking about feelings makes them seem weak or unmanly.

Fear of Judgment

Men often fear that if they “open up”, they'll be judged, ridiculed, or even rejected (especially by other men). Society tends to reward men for being stoic and self-sufficient, so expressing emotions can feel risky. Don’t get me wrong, we certainly need an element of this but never 100% of the time.

Lack of Emotional Vocabulary

Because men are often discouraged from exploring their emotions, they may not develop the language to express what they’re feeling. Instead of saying, "I'm feeling upset," it might come out as anger, sarcasm, or complete silence.

Biological & Neurological Factors

There are some differences in how male and female brains process emotions too. Studies suggest that women tend to have a more active connection between the emotional and verbal centres of the brain, which makes it easier for them to articulate feelings. Meanwhile, men tend to process emotions more internally and struggle to put them into words.

A Lack of Safe Spaces

Many men don’t feel like they have a safe, non-judgmental space to express their emotions. If they’ve been mocked for doing so in the past, they may learn to bottle things up instead. This is NEVER a good thing.

The Expectation to "Fix" Things

Men are often taught to be problem-solvers. When faced with emotional struggles, they may focus on finding a solution rather than simply expressing their feelings. This can make emotional conversations feel frustrating or pointless if there’s no clear “fix.”

Breaking the Cycle

Even though these challenges exist, we can learn to express our emotions in healthier ways. It often starts with:

✅ Finding trusted friends, partners, or someone like me who can offer judgment-free support
✅ Reframing vulnerability as strength instead of weakness
✅ Developing a stronger emotional vocabulary
✅ Recognising that expressing emotions doesn’t make you any less “manly”

Does any of this resonate with you? If so, talk to me. This is my realm. I can promise you the upmost discretion at all times.